Chapter 28: Dumb Lass
“Big brother Zu, you should head in and look for my father first. Tell him that youre my friend. Ill join you once Im done treating the patients here,” Ji Xiaoxi told Zu An apologetically as she attended to the crowd gathered before her.
“Sure.” Zu An had planned to do that anyway. If he let Ji Xiaoxi and Divine Physician Ji compare notes on him, the lies he had spun would quickly unravel.
The entrance to the Ji residence was left empty, as the mass of patients that had blocked it earlier were now crowded around Ji Xiaoxi. The rocking chair out front was empty as well. Clearly, Divine Physician Ji had retired into his residence.
Zu An stated the reason for his visit, and a servant quickly led him into a courtyard. Gesturing toward one of the rooms, the servant said, “The old master is in there. You may enter alone.”
Divine Physician Ji considered the areas where he brewed medicine as sensitive areas, and prohibited servants like them from entering them. As for the threat of outsiders possibly harming Divine Physician Ji, that worry was for naught. There was no one in Brightmoon City who would dare to mess around here.
Zu An pushed the door open and entered the room. He heard crude laughter coming from within, and his expression twisted oddly. After a few more steps, he noticed that Divine Physician Ji was not brewing medicine. Instead, he lay on a chair, browsing through a suspicious-looking book. It was probably that erotic book that hed been bribed with earlier in the morning.
The divine physicians perverted expression and gooseflesh-inducing cackles made Zu An wonder how this vulgar middle-aged man had produced a daughter as sweet as Ji Xiaoxi.
“Hm You returned earlier than I thought. Did you manage to gather all of the goubaos” Divine Physician Jis eyes didnt leave the book for even a moment, but he was still able to accurately identify Zu An.
“I didnt bring any goubaos with me,” Zu An replied.
“Tsk. What are you doing here then Scram, scram, scram, dont interrupt me while Im reading my book.” Divine Physician Ji shook a leg leisurely as he impatiently waved Zu An away.
Zu An took out a stack of banknotes and waved them around. “While I dont have any goubaos, I do have money with me. Do you want it”
“Heh, why should I decline money thats delivered to my doorstep” As swift as a hurricane, Divine Physician Ji flew out of his rocking chair and snatched the bank notes out of Zu Ans hands. They were worth exactly 100 silver taels. “You were a poor bloke earlier. How did you manage to strike it rich all of a sudden Hm And why do these banknotes look oddly familiar...”
Zu An began sweating upon hearing those words. Is this man so obsessed with money that he can even recognize his own banknotes Fearing Divine Physician Ji would discover that he had obtained these banknotes from Ji Xiaoxi, he quickly forged ahead. “Ive already paid you the consultation fee. Its your turn to treat me.”
Divine Physician Ji tucked the banknotes into his clothes. “Fine then. Since youve delivered the money right into my hands, Ill be gracious and help you take a look at it. Take off your pants!”
“Huh” Zu An was stunned.
“What do you mean,Huh How am I going to examine your condition if you dont take off your pants” Divine Physician Ji shot Zu An a disdainful look. Its not as if youre a babe. Do you think that Im that interested in getting an eyeful of you
“Werent you able to diagnose my condition with a single look this morning” Zu An found it hard to accept that he had to take off his pants in front of another guy.
“I could only tell that theres a seal planted on your body. If I dont take a closer look, how am I supposed to tell what kind of seal it is” Divine Physician Ji grumbled. “If you dont want to take it off, so be it.”
“Fine fine, Ill do it!” Zu An cried out tearfully. His future happiness was riding on this, so he had to put his pride aside for the time being. Considering how happy this middle-aged man had looked while browsing through his erotic magazine, it should be safe to assume that he didnt swing the other way.
“Oho, it looks quite delicate,” Divine Physician Ji remarked casually.
Black streaks darkened Zu Ans face. If not for the fact that Im no match for you, Id have surely pressed you down to the ground and pummeled you by now!
Divine Physician Ji returned to his chair and said, “You need not worry. You have been struck by the Great Yinyang Pulse Severing Palm, which has affected your development. As long as the seal on your body is removed, youll revert back to normal.”
Zu An was overjoyed. Theres still hope! He quickly pulled up his pants and asked, “Whats this Great Yinyang Pulse Severing Palm How do I get rid of the seal”
Divine Physician Ji replied, “Based on what I know, its a domineering sealing palm strike that has been passed down in the royal palace. As long as you raise your cultivation to the Master stage, youll be able to tear through the seal with ease.”
Zu An nearly spurted blood. Why was he working so hard if all he got in return was the same damned answer “I know that already. I wouldnt have bothered consulting you if I could reach Master stage that easily. Return me my money! It looks like your reputation as a divine physician is a mere exaggeration!”
“Heh. There are only a few Masters in the world. Even if you get lucky and reach that level, I reckon that you would have one foot in the grave by then. You wouldnt be able to put that thing to use anymore,” Divine Physician Ji mocked him gleefully. “Forget it. Seeing how pitiful you are... I do have another way to treat you. However, it wont be easy.”
“What is this other way No matter how hard it is, Ill definitely do it!” Zu An nearly sobbed in relief. Just as he thought he had reached a dead end, a new door had been thrown open right before him!
“Tsk. Given your capabilities, what can you possibly do” Divine Physician Ji sneered in disdain. “Forget it, Ill come up with it myself. However, you have to do something for me first before Ill save you.”
“What But I already paid you the treatment fee!” Zu An cried indignantly.
“What treatment fee Its called consultation fee for a reason!” Divine Physician Ji glared at Zu An coldly. “What Im setting out now is the treatment fee! Have you never seen a physician before”
Zu An finally understood why this middle-aged man had so many patients hollering at his doorstep every day. However, this was not the time to be concerned with that. He asked instead, “What do you need me to do”
“I dont have any hobbies in my life except to collect the dudous of beautiful women...” Before Divine Physician Ji could finish, Zu An cut him off contemptuously with a raised middle finger. “Youre such a repulsive man.”
“You dont want to be treated anymore” Divine Physician Ji sneered.
Zu An bowed obsequiously. “Esteemed physician, please continue speaking.”
“Thats more like it. If you can get the dudou of Cloudmidst Commanderys Yu Yanluo...” Divine Physician Ji quickly shook his head. “Forget it, youve probably never stepped out of Brightmoon City before, so how could you possibly cross paths with such a legendary figure Lets see... The Chu clans matriarch, Qin Wanru, Brightmoon Academys teacher, Shang Liuyu, or Immortal Abodes courtesan, Qiu Huolei... Well, if you can obtain the dudous of any single one of them, Ill accept it as the treatment fee.”
Zu Ans eyes widened in horror. He hadnt heard of the last two before, but he did know Qin Wanru. He swallowed and said, “Arent you afraid that the Brightmoon Duke could learn of your interest in his wife Hell pin you to the floor and beat you up!”
“Who is he to me Do I look like Im afraid of him” Divine Physician Ji replied proudly.
“If youre that formidable, why dont you obtain their dudous yourself” Zu An sneered.
Divine Physician Ji cleared his throat before replying, “I am, after all, a divine physician. I need to uphold my reputation! How could I do something as underhanded as that Listen well! This matter should only be known between you and me. If anyone else were to find out about it, not only will I not admit to it, but Ill make sure that the town learns about your erectile dysfunction!”
Zu An flew into a state of rage. “Just who are you accusing of having a dysfunction!”
Divine Physician Ji stared blatantly at Zu Ans crotch and said, “Why dont you try getting it up then”
“Heh, its not like youre some hot lady. I must be out of my mind to get it up for you!” Zu An hollered in anger.
Divine Physician Ji wrapped his arm around Zu Ans shoulder and said, “Alright, stop being so stubborn. Accomplish what I ask of you, and Ill make sure you become a healthy man once more.”
A myriad of emotions flickered across Zu Ans face. He reluctantly acquiesced. “Fine!”
For his own happiness, he had to go all out!
Zu An didnt know how he left the Ji Residence. His mind was so completely preoccupied with his newly-assigned hell-level mission that he even forgot to bid Ji Xiaoxi farewell.
He hadnt heard of Shang Liuyu and Qin Huolei, but Qin Wanru... Gah...
Recalling the earlier incident in the ancestral hall, he cursed Ji Dengtus horrible tastes. Qin Wanru was admittedly beautiful, but her temper was the worst.
On top of that, Qin Wanru was his mother-in-law. If he were to be caught stealing her dudou... setting aside Chu Zhongtian, even Chu Chuyan would skin him alive!
Just imagining the terrifying sight was enough to make him instantly dispel that possibility.
That left Yu Yanluo. It was a huge coincidence that he had saved her not too long ago. That being said, if he were to knock on her door and ask for her undergarment, wouldnt he be thrown out of her residence right away
Damn it, that perverted old man! Why the hell did he come up with such dastardly terms
Shortly after Zu An had left, Ji Xiaoxi finally finished treating all of her patients and rushed back into the residence. However, only her father remained. “Where is he”
“Who” Divine Physician Ji asked.
“Zu An. He didnt come in” Ji Xiaoxi asked worriedly.
“Ah, that fellow. I have already sent him off.” Divine Physician Ji eyed his daughter suspiciously. “You know him”
“Yeah, I met him on the road. He helped me,” Ji Xiaoxi replied.
A furrow formed on Divine Physician Jis forehead. “Stay away from him in the future. Theres no such thing as a good man in the world. I know just what kind of dirty thoughts are running through his head.”
Ji Xiaoxis face reddened. “He isnt like any other men.”
Divine Physician Ji chuckled. “Heh, hes indeed different from other men. I guess thats all right. You have nothing to lose hanging out with him.”
From her fathers words, Ji Xiaoxi surmised that Zu An had already been diagnosed. She asked anxiously, “Can he be treated”
“Of course! Who do you think your father is” Divine Physician Ji said smugly as he stroked his beard. “However, his condition is a little troublesome. Ill need to spend some time thinking about it.”
A smile blossomed on Ji Xiaoxis lips. “Yes, I believe in fathers capabilities. Ah, speaking of which, I managed to procure some Assrip Wolf goubaos. Werent you looking for them as ingredients for your medical concoction”
Divine Physician Ji was taken aback. He hurried to check on the goods, and saw that there were indeed Assrip Wolf goubaos. His face turned into a mask of fury. “You went to the Wolf Valley What if something happened to you You shouldnt put yourself at risk for something like this!”
He had given something to his daughter to repel wild beasts, but if she provoked and killed an Assrip Wolf, the rest of the pack wouldnt have turned a blind eye. She could have exposed herself to great danger!
Ji Xiaoxi replied with a sweet smile, “Dont worry, I didnt hunt those Assrip Wolves. I bought them from someone else.”
Divine Physician Ji heaved a sigh of relief. Then something tickled his curiosity. “Whos so capable as to be able to gather so many goubaos”
“Its big brother Zu who came in earlier. He didnt tell you” Ji Xiaoxi asked in confusion.
“You bought them from Zu An” Divine Physician Ji swiftly sensed amiss. He hurriedly took out the notes he had just received as he asked, “How much did he sell them for”
“A-around 12 silver taels each,” Ji Xiaoxi stammered out.
“Goddamnit! That brat actually sold it to you at such a high price” The banknotes in his hand seemed to be laughing at him. How did a hawk like himself end up getting done in by a mere worm!
“Actually, it isnt that expensive. This stuff cant be easily bought in the market after all,” Ji Xiaoxi replied, her face and hands flushed with embarrassment. She was glad that she had mentioned a slightly lower price. Her father would never have forgiven big brother Zu otherwise.
“How did I give birth to such a dumb lass!” Divine Physician Ji cried out as he shambled back to his room. That naive look on his daughter's face was enough to exasperate him!
1. A dudou is the undergarment worn by women in the past era.